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I open my app for OK Cupid, hoping for a miracle…every…damn…time. She would make me forget all of the others who hurt me. I was the first-born and so I was not as mature at 21 as I should have been. We were two shy, star-crossed lovers who met at work in a grocery store. It was a very sad day when I signed those divorce papers. I think it was that week, after that trauma of becoming homeless, that set me on the path I am on now. I hope for my saving angel to come to me in the form of a beautiful woman. She would soothe my soul and inspire me, calm my anxiety and love me. To wade into the pool again fills me with anxiety, but also hope. I thought, all of those years, undone with a couple signatures.
In our appearance-oriented culture, it's easy to forget our "true north" and drain our energy in an effort to win the approval of others."""You were once wild here. With compassion and authenticity, I will collaborate with you to ease transitions, soothe loneliness, and perhaps create a life, relationship or career that is more aligned with your values, needs and desires. I get to know clients well, and create an individualized approach to lead you toward greater happiness and vitality.
She would be a glowing angel, radiating femininity and strength.
Just to look at her would make me want to weep for joy.
We remained engaged until February of 1996 when we married. But, my Dad just happened to ask me what was going on. I suppose he thought my “thing” was just a phase and he feared that I would ruin my chance at love if I revealed my “thing.” He really just wanted the best for his son. I would spend the next 2 and a half years with her. Hell, we survived an earthquake, a hurricane, and a flood. I was leery of moving down there, but I really didn’t have much choice or anywhere else to go. Eventually, we got kicked out of our apartment by a fellow trans girl, who owned the house. Only one problem, Jess found love in Denver and decided to stay. However, I had been talking to a girl in Tacoma, WA. I was out on my ass with less than 0, a car, and some stuff in a POD container in Benicia, CA, a suburb of San Francisco, where Jess and I were originally moving to. Those two San Francisco meanies really messed me up inside and made me retreat from the dating pool.
We continued on for 9 more years after she discovered that I was…well…how I am. That is a huge portion of my 46 years on this earth. I always wonder what would have happened had I told her what I was going to tell her one day while we were dating. We did reconcile two days later, and I was going to come clean. I met my partner, Jess, on July 31, 2011 in Washington DC. Those early days in Glen Arm, MD, a suburb of Baltimore, were some of our best and most coveted. In September 2014, we left SC on an epic road trip. I thought I was comfortable enough here to go on a few dates back in the late winter/early spring. I thought I had enough time under my belt to feel comfortable enough to date. People have suggested that there may have been things going on in their own lives that made them both lash out at me, things that have nothing to do with me.